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The child's emotional intelligence

The child's emotional intelligence

"Emotional self-awareness is the cornerstone of your future. Emotional intelligence enables you to get rid of your bad mood!
(Daniel Golman)

We work very hard on the child's IQ, because it is a common misconception that if the child's IQ level is high, he will become intelligent, get good marks in the exam and then in the best institution. Will reach a higher position. But, that is partly true. In practice, science today has proven that having a good IQ is not as important as one's EQ skills for success and happiness in one's life. Children who are emotionally intelligent are able to grow better in life and are able to deal with life's problems.
Not only children, but also parents need to be taught the importance of emotional intelligence and to be taught emotional intelligence.
Of course, life is full of emotional ups and downs. Emotionally intelligent parents do not hide this ups and downs from their children but inform them about the realities of life. For example, in our Pakistani society, if an elder (grandparents, great-grandparents) dies, the elders of the house hide from him the fact that the child will be sorry if he finds out or the news will be inappropriate for him. This is a big mistake that parents or their adult relatives make during the emotional training of children. Why? Death is a reality. The child must know the fact that whatever has come into this world has to go. If the child is not ready to admit this fact now, then in the later stages of life his mind will not be strong enough to accept this fact.
Children usually do what their parents do ... good or bad ... everything. So whatever the parents do, the children will do. Improve your child's emotional intelligence as a parent.

Here are some tips to help you get started:

Tell your child that even though you are their parent, they are older, but they can make mistakes (as human beings).
Let the child know that if he can make a mistake, his parents can too
Not only sound education but his alertness and dedication too are most required
Children who are trained in the light of emotional intelligence are aware of the bitter realities of life and have the courage to accept the bitterness of life.

Why emotional intelligence is important for children?

This is how we go about our daily lives, no matter what, but when confusions and anxieties arise due to ups and downs, emotions also fall prey to ups and downs. Children react as well as adults, and then this emotional attachment is more affected by the immaturity of their behavior.
If the concept of emotional intelligence is explained to children and their parents practice emotional intelligence, then these children develop the ability to control and regulate their emotions. Children who practice these things from the beginning until the age of four learn the ways in which they are able to control their anger, irritability or confusion despite any emotional ups and downs.
According to research, by the age of ten, they have the ability to control their emotions to a large extent and they may be able to control their negative emotions even in big problems.
The methods that are taught to children in emotional intelligence can be divided into two categories:
First: Trying to solve problems Second: Trying to control or be patient with your emotions
Children who learn emotional intelligence, when faced with a problem (mostly academic problems or friendship problems at this age), tend to look for solutions instead of being overwhelmed by them. All the methods that are being taught to control one's emotions and feelings in the present age somehow fall into the category of emotional intelligence. Because the big and simple definition of emotional intelligence is that a person should be aware of his emotions. (Emotional State = Emotional State) and then be able to control it.
Self-control is a very important factor in emotional intelligence. And, to make a child a successful person in life, it is very important to develop in him the skills of self-control from childhood. Children who have the power to control their emotional arousal are better able to deal with their social, societal and economic problems later in life.

Many years ago, research was done on children in a school in the United States. The study looked at the emotional intelligence levels of these different children. Thirty years later, when these children were contacted and re-examined, it was found that those who had higher emotional intelligence in childhood, thirty years later, their home environment was pleasant, they could control themselves well in the fluctuations of circumstances and The economic situation was also better. His physical and mental health also looked significantly better than others. Such people are hardly addicted to alcohol. His criminal record was also lower than others.

I would like to ask parents to think and try to improve their child's emotional intelligence (IQ) instead of working hard and worrying about their child's IQ if they really want to see their child succeed. ۔ In this regard, follow the following five steps. These are the steps that emotional intelligence experts tell parents to help their children become emotionally intelligent.

Step 1: Be aware of your child's emotions
Parents who want to coach their children emotionally need to be aware of their emotions first. Because they will present the same impression to their children in the emotional state they will be in. No outward or conscious action is required to express one's emotional state, the emotional state of the mother or father automatically affects the child. If your emotional state as a parent is mostly negative, it is a matter of great concern for your child's future.

Step 2: Emotions are a source of communication and learning
The child's emotions are not a challenge. No matter what his emotions are, he is a source of learning for the child. Addressing his emotions, do emotional coaching so that the child does not become a stranger to his emotions, but begins to get acquainted with his emotions from an early age.

Step 3: Listen to the child's feelings and pay attention
When the child is expressing his feelings, listen carefully. That way, you'll be paying more attention to her feelings. Once he has spoken, tell him what you think of his feelings. Reacting to the child in this way will make him realize that his parents have valued his feelings.

Step 4: Name the child's emotions
When you hear your child's feelings, give them a name. In this way, the child will be able to know and recognize their emotions in more depth. His emotional intelligence will improve. Naming an item makes it easier to express and communicate. As far as emotions and feelings are concerned, we have not been able to name our emotions so far. Consider that people keep repeating the name of three or four emotions. This means that we lack emotional literacy.

Step 5: Help solve your child's problem
If your child is troubled by a problem, instead of empathizing with it, reassure them that they can solve it. Help him solve this problem. Your behavior should not be to exacerbate the problem, but to solve the problem. This is a difficult task, but it is very important for the child's training. For that, you may have to work hard.